So I met with my ob today, to talk about how out-of-control I've been feeling and how I can't seem to make it better. Some days it feels like I'm falling apart and I can't get the peices back together. *deep breath* This was really hard for me, I have a very hard time asking for help and really didn't like telling the doc about what's been going on in my head lately. Thankfully he didn't ask much and I didn't have to say much. He is an ob, not a psychologist, his business is delivering babies. I guess he doesn't really need to know the specifics, just that I can't cope right now.
He calmly told me I am depressed and have an anxiety disorder. He prescribed an anti-depressant and gave me a referral to a psychiatrist. He didn't judge me, tell me I was crazy, and I haven't had any visits from CPS so I would say it went pretty well. Also my script isn't going to cost a small fortune so another plus. We'll deal with the cost of the head doctor and coronary I'm going to have when I get the bill when it happens. One step at a time.
I did what I thought I could never do. I admitted I need help and I got it.
Now for the bad news. I don't take meds. Tylenol and Tylenol PM, Tums, Nyquil when I absolutely need it, that's about it. When I was pregnant I was on blood pressure meds that laid me out for about a week, until we got the dose right. So I was leary of taking this one. But I want my old life back, so I did it. Now, I'm sitting here feeling like I'm puke, dizzy and fighting double vision as I type. I wasn't sure this was normal so I checked the side effects... all normal.
Hallucinations are not. As the hubs and I read through the list, he told me if I see him dancing in the middle of the living room with a large purple elephant it was a safe bet that was NOT happening and I should probably let him know so he could call the dr.
Gotta love the hubs. He's always good for a laugh.
As for the meds I'll give them a couple weeks hope the side effects mellow and they do as promised and even me out.